Motherhood is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. (I can't believe something could top nursing school.) Having someone completely dependent on you is very hard and exhausting. The lack of sleep makes it very difficult to be cheerful and in the mood for bonding when the baby needs some love and affection (and food). It's also such a life changing thing to be at someone's every beckon call. There are so many worries and wondering because he can't tell me if I'm doing something wrong or what he wants.
But...it IS the most rewarding thing someone could do. I've heard that my whole life...that parenting is so rewarding. "What does that even mean?" I always thought. Even when Bronson has cried for over an hour at 3 o'clock in the morning, I still can't sleep until I know that he's okay. Two days ago, Bronson consciously smiled at me for the first time. I tell you, that made EVERYTHING wonderful! Just seeing all of his new little accomplishments has been so fun and reassuring that I'm doing something right.
It's only been 5 weeks and I've learned SO much!...and haven't gotten anything else done, but fed, changed, and rocked my Baby Bronson. :) I've definitely fallen in love with another boy.
this is making me cry. I remember those feelings, its all so bittersweet and just... hard to describe. I'm proud of you, friend, for what you are doing with Bronson and for taking some time to write this post--you won't regret any of it. you are a wonderful mother.
ReplyDeleteSarah, Motherhood will change your life -- has and will stretch you in ways you never knew possible. Enjoy and grow alongside your son! :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm crying a little too... And, everyone said this to me, but JUST WAIT!! The laugh (AHHH), the roll (YEAY!!), the "mama" (*heart stop*)... You will be exhausted for the better part of the next year (at least) but, oh man! Isn't this the best EVER?!!
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